CHINA–Blissful sleep came to an abrupt end for The Stevo today. After three days of sleeping far later than his biology allows he was roused by the masked civet living in his kitchen.
The cat, said The Stevo, was out of the bag. The burlap sack lay in shreds. A raccoon-like face stared at him before plunging back into the garbage bin.
“I thought they would meow, it looks like a cat,” he said. Instead, he described a high-pitched whistle-cum-wail emanating from his glassed-in kitchen.
“It’s pretty damn freaky,” said The Stevo.
The civet was last seen feasting on a bags of skim milk power and uncooked rice. In an attempt to appease the wild fucking animal in his kitchen The Stevo tossed some papayas through the door.
“I just want it to shut up,” he said. “There are four more papayas and three oranges. After that all bets are off.”
The owner of said civet, The Stevo’s brother-in-law, who had spent the previous two night on the sofa, has departed Chateau Stevo. The dismayed kitchenless man said it was an unjust karmic joke.
“I would really like to get back into my kitchen,” said The Stevo.
Authorities fear there may be a double slaying, the brother-in-law, and the civet, if The Stevo is not able to get into his kitchen during the next 24 hours.
“I really want a sandwich,” he told this reporter.
Oh! Forget my previous questions.
What a mess! I’m not sure a double homicide would be over reacting.
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I guess if you don’t post again, we’ll know you’re behind bars for the double homicide!
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Scary…looks like a runty wolverine. Civets. Are they not also possessors of high odor? Kitchen getting funky as well?
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Rats! I just attempted to write a comment and it didn’t appear (maybe you’ve just got moderation on). Another window that I tried to open here (769 in case it is supposed to be gone) flaked out on me.
Anyway, I wanted to say something. Now I can’t remember. I wanted to be asleep right now but that didn’t work out, hence the memory thing. The cats in my house have been vomiting all over the place. I think that’s less bad than what you’ve illustrated. My sympathies.
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What did you do to your brother-in-law that he would deprive you of your kitchen this way?
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I’m writing this from a pda while dining in a beijing bbq restaurant in downtown xixiang. yes the kitchen is funky but the beast is now gone. tomorrow will be spent disinfecting the room before starting a feast of sandwiches.
Hey, I know where this story can be posted. In about 3 to 5 days.
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You already know how I feel about the civet.
Stop frightening me Pan.
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LOL. Up close like this, they don’t have anything cute about them, do they?
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I’m loving me some juxtaposition of the picture of your eyes in the header and the wild creature in your kitchen. Your eyes either seem to be saying “wtf!?” or “I’m hungry. Please feed me a sammich.”
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It’s a kinda awesome looking creature. I mean, for someone who doesn’t have it blockading the microwave.
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I hope you got your sandwich. And frosty, malt beverage. Anyone having to face something as freaky as that creature deserves a lifetime supply of both.
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Great post! I missed it, though…why did your brother-in-law put it in a sack in your kitchen?
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