When one door is closed, don’t you know, another is open.
Bob Marley

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I haven’t posted a self-portrait in a week or two. My vanity must be on the wane. No, that’s not true. You’re not vain when you know you’re the coolest man in China. A snarky blogger recently called The Stevo “tasty vittles.” I’ll take that as the ultimate compliment.

If you view this image large you may notice my ensemble. A purple plaid shirt and camouflage shorts is Stevo’s China Wear at its finest. My rationale is simple: I’m going to be stared at any way, I might as well be entertaining to look at. If you saw some of the clothes in Mrs. Stevo’s closet my above look would seem tame.

Clothes shopping, actually all shopping in China, is cheap. Instead of buying used clothing (as I did in Canada) I can now afford the ugliest of un-preowned shirts. I’ll take you shopping in China, if you visit, I know some place with reasonably attractive garments, and a great tailor.

Captured: July 23, 2008.

Remember I said The Stevos’ have a secret?

No, I’m not gay. (Sorry Grandma, I know you want to march in the Pride Parade.)

No, my wife is not really a man as some have speculated.

No, I’m not a cyborg, although that might be cool. An English-teaching version of Robocop?

Stevo has lost his fat belly? Well, that’s not really a secret.

What’s the secret? Why has The Stevo lowered himself to posting a photo of a cat on his blog? (What did cat lovers do before the internet?)

Wait and see.

Better yet, enter and see.

That’s right, asianramblings.com is holding a contest. If you can guess The Stevos’ secret you’ll be a winner. Well, you’re already a winner in my eyes for reading this post. After all, there is a photograph of a cat.

What will I win, you ask.

The person that first correctly guesses The Stevos’ secret will win their own domain name installed with WordPress and hosting for one year *. That’s right, free!

I’ll post clues over the next two weeks. Email your guesses whenever you like. Enter early and enter often.

* Some restrictions apply.

Photo by: thedepartmentofme

That right, as of June 1, China has banned plastic shopping bags. Well, not banned. They’re still available, but now you have to pay for them.

From the CBC:

China’s State Council said the ban will start June 1. Firms that continue to sell, make and distribute bags thicker than 0.025 mm thick will be given fines and authorities may seize goods and profits, the State Council said.

“Our country consumes huge amounts of plastic bags every year. While providing convenience to consumers, they have also caused serious pollution, and waste of energy and resources, because of excessive use and inadequate recycling,” the government said in a statement, according to Reuters.

“We should encourage people to return to carrying cloth bags, using baskets for their vegetables.”

From my former province, from The Toronto Star:

Ontario won’t follow China’s move to reduce pollution by banning plastic shopping bags, Premier Dalton McGuinty said today.

However, during a morning visit to Kitchener, the premier also said the Chinese plan is a reminder that the west should be “rethinking” its reliance on the bags.

I applaud the initiative. Every little bit helps. My problem is forgetting to bring bags with me to the store. In my rush to shop each morning, before the army of old women descend on the produce section like biblical locust, I often forget to grab the lovely bags Mrs. Stevo purchased for our use. I came home today with potatoes stuffed in my pockets.

Live and learn.

I’m a star of stage and (small) screen. That’s right, I’ve walked the red carpet (no, not the doormat outside my apartment), I can wear a borrowed suit and host a televised event like nobody’s business. I’ve been wined and dined. My services are in demand, baby. Should I get an agent?

The Stevo’s fame is current limited to seven-year-olds. But, they will pass word of his magnificence and his fan base will grow. In the not-too-distant-future he will be, in the words of Wanda, bomb diggity. Hopefully, before all his hair falls out.

I was in a show back in February to celebrate the end of the Chinese New Year festival. I didn’t have a speaking part, because the sound of my voice would have driven my fans into a mad frenzy. I stumbled upon the photos on the shared files drive in the office.

Strange, it’s almost as if I’m hiding.

Ya, The Stevo isn’t visible. It adds to his mystique.

Read the full story

I spent an hour and a half sitting in the back of a taxi Saturday afternoon. It wasn’t by choice. The entire trip should have taken 30 minutes. I found myself mired a mile from home, watching the meter click over every three minutes, adding more jiao to my fare. Why? Three lanes of traffic had been reduced to one. There were no warning signs for motorists, just a traffic snarl akin to the gridlocks found in one of Dante’s circles of hell (if a modern version was written).

I did what any photographer would do: Pulled out my axe and tried to amuse myself. Shooting photos from the back of a taxi isn’t easy. What did I see? Read the full story