Tag Archive | "teaching english in China"

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Life in China: Headaches on moving day


I have moved.

Not into the freshly renovated Chateau Stevo – that’s not ready yet. (I’m beginning to think it will never be ready). Our stuff is temporarily in storage – by stuff I mean Mrs. Stevo’s shoes and assorted non-essential photography equipment. I am camping on a friend’s sofa (he’s in Europe) and Mrs. Stevo, luckily, given her condition, is living with a friend who is a doctor.

This is only temporary (fingers crossed). The new flat needs to be painted and the ash floor refinished. On the plus side, the bathrooms are finished and lovely orange kitchen cupboards have been installed. I won’t speak of the dreadful tile job that was done by incompetent contractors. I should be documenting this on the DIY blog I set up, but there’s only so much blogging one man can do.

Moving is never easy. It’s not natural to pack your entire life into boxes. This was my third move in under 12 months – that’s about four moves too many. It’s easy for newbies teaching English in China to pick up stakes – the same cannot be said for veterans now working as corporate types. After five years you accumulate stuff. I tossed much of it, but there’s still boxes and boxes.

We couldn’t move the boxes ourselves – Mrs. Stevo can’t lift anything and I am vying for laziest man in Shenzhen title: Enter the movers. Mrs. Stevo said she had found some guys with a truck – they would arrive Saturday morning. Boxes packed, the first mover arrived 15 minutes late – which in China is early. He looked around, said he couldn’t contact his partner, and left. Fifteen minutes later his partner arrived, looked around, and left.

By 10 am we called someone else. They had two trucks and would come immediately.

The “trucks” it turns out, were motorized trikes (much like the one above). The new movers loaded our boxes onto two trikes with speedy gusto. The two piles I had made – boxes for storage and boxes for my temporary apartment – were efficiently mixed together into one homogeneous pile of plastic and cardboard. I should know better than to try to be organized.

Then the first mover returned and tried to take over. They had been looking for bigger trucks, he explained. His cell phone was broken. They now had a bigger vehicle, they would take over. If the current movers could load the boxes onto his trike…

Nay, I say. Thanks for coming out.

A security guard wandered over as we prepared for the monumental 150 meter trek to our stuff’s new home. I’ve said before you can’t swing a dead cat in China without hitting a security guard. They are everywhere, like Amway distributors.

We couldn’t move, we were told. We didn’t have a moving permit. A permit wasn’t needed to move in, but to move my possessions 150 meters, from one apartment to another, an officially stamped permit was required.

“This is my stuff,” I protested.

“Get a permit,” I was told.

At the same moment the incompetent tilers called. Mrs. Stevo waddled to the new flat and I jogged to the estate administration office, passport in hand. The clerk looked at my passport, couldn’t read it, and took the ID card of a friend and put his personal data on the all-important moving authorization permit. It didn’t matter that the rental contract was in my name – any Chinese name would apparently deal with the red tape.

The security guard added the official permit to his clipboard and we were allowed to depart. Fifteen minutes later it was over. The movers were given my almost broken desk and a somewhat broken sofa bed, a bonus above the $13 US they had been paid.

As dusk settled I sat in my old apartment and drank a six pack. Beer is a peaceful balm to the mental abrasions China can cause.

In three weeks I get to do it all again. Actually, the way things are going that could be 5 months. Ain’t that grand?

Posted in China, Culture, Featured, Humour, LifeComments (5)

Random tidbits from China: September 2009


Rick and crew

Rick and crew

1. While I enjoy my new job, I do miss my babies. Above, Rick and crew during the 2007 Christmas party. Rick, et al, are in Grade 4 this year. I remember when they were timid Grade 1s.

2. Thanks for those that voted for my self-portrait in the Fox Nomad Cheesy Travel Photo Contest. I placed 4th and won a Cabin Cuddler. I’m sure Mrs. Stevo will enjoy this blanket when the mercury dips to its winter low of 60F. I really wanted to win the multi-colored Sporks…

3. Speaking of Mrs. Stevo, she decided we should move last week. Our beloved landlord said he would no longer pay for repairs because, “he was losing too much money.” Note to Master of the House: When your appliances are 5 years old and of Chinese manufacture expect them to break. While Mrs. Stevo did find a very nice apartment and negotiated an acceptable rent, I was unwilling to pay the 4000 RMB ($600 US) penalty for breaking our lease. Seven months, then we can move and maybe buy.

4. My Canon 40D is (supposedly) returning from the shop today. While my Canon 400D is nice it’s no 40D. Canon’s announcement this week of its newest DSLR, the Canon 7D, has me assessing my finances.

5. I’ve been playing with lots of expensive toys: Pocket Wizards and Radiopoppers. If I can only get the factory girls to model for me…

6. Cow arteries are not “good eats” no matter how they are cooked. Even Alton Brown would have difficulties.

7. A bottle of beer after a week of antibiotics-induced abstinence will force you to bed at 8:40 pm.

8. Wearing pants to work everyday is troublesome. I much prefer working from home in my boxers and looking dead-sexy.

9. Working from home and an office, and three different computers, means you never have the files you need when you need them.

10. My assistant cum translator starts today. “Why didn’t you hire a pretty girl?” asked the boss. Because, unfortunately, the lad had more experience.

Some cool stuff:

Ron Dubin is on fire, almost literally. Check out his latest images of the California wildfires.

Robin, his partner in crime, is playing this little piggie, with balloons.

With the week-long National Day holiday to start October 1, I’m mulling over possible travel destinations. Taking Mrs. Stevo to Hong Kong and Macau is one idea. Another is visiting the kick-ass bloggers in Taiwan (a rebel province, not a country). Speaking of Taiwan bloggers:

Carrie and her husband John have launched a new site: Lay Your Head Here, featuring Accommodations Selected by Travelers for Travelers. She has also revamped Taiwan Photographers, both are great sites and I recommend them.

Mark Forman has a great series of images, Hut 2, 3, 4, taken at the Chiang Kai Shek Memorial.

Photog extraordinaire Craig Ferguson has a great series on Kinmen, three islands that were a flash-point between Taiwan and the mainland numerous times during the cold war.

Time to take a shower from a bucket…wish me luck.


Posted in China, Featured, LifeComments (17)

Chinese sunrise: A new day, A new start


My first Chinese sunrise, unemployed

My first sunrise in China, unemployed.

As anyone who follows me on Twitter knows, as of June 30, 2009 at 10:19 am (GMT +8) I joined the ranks of the unemployed. My contract ended, they school paid me off and gave me the official release letters. No more will I be hailed with the moniker, “Teacher.”

No more students, no more books, no more boss’s dirty looks. For me, as Alice Cooper said, school is out forever. No more teaching English in China, no more being el instructor grande of English as a Second Language.

Okay, I’m only temporarily unemployed.  I have a job to start in a few weeks, after the return of Mrs. Stevo and perhaps a bit of travel. What is that job? A few of you have asked, in comments and by email. When all the i’s are dotted and the t’s crossed I’ll let the cat out of the bag.

Every day is a new beginning. It’s easy to get mired in what seems a daily grind, the proverbial rut. Sometimes you need to take a step back and see each day for what it is: A new start. Here’s to a fresh start and new beginnings. For today, it’s a 6:15 pm flight to Shanghai and the Interphoto & Digital Imaging Shanghai (Show) from July 2-5? Visit me at the Phottix booth at the Shanghai Everbright Convention & Exhibition Center. I’ll be easy to spot: The smiling white guy.

aside: I recent lamented to Norm that China has weak clouds. After last week’s typhoon the sky has been filled with big puffy monster clouds (see above). It’s a pleasant change.

Posted in China, Reflections, Shenzhen, Teaching OverseasComments (9)

Chinese Food: SPAM


SPAM, Korean-Style

SPAM, Korean-Style

My life, teaching English in China: What do you do on a Saturday night when your friends abandon you?

Eat SPAM. That’s right. Go the Korean grocery store, buy a can of imported Korean SPAM Luncheon Meat, then return home, make some toast, and grab the mustard.

What? You don’t like SPAM? There seems to be bias in North America regarding canned meat products. For me, SPAM falls into the NCF category: Not Chinese Food. I live in China, and the majority of my diet is Chinese food, but sometimes you need a taste of something different. Comfort food, perhaps.

That’s not to say there isn’t SPAM in Chinese food. There’s SPAM in fried rice, SPAM hot dogs, and SPAM fried noodles. I’m being broad in my interpretation of SPAM. In Chinese food it’s not real SPAM, but a Chinese SPAM-like tinned meat. Sometimes said meat isn’t in a can and doesn’t require refrigeration. I find that both amazing and frightening.

Did the Hormel Food Corporation think in 1937, the year they released SPAM, it would one day graces the tables of China, being incorporated in staple Chinese dishes? Probably not. Could they have envisioned the joy of a Canadian expatriate in China, eating a can of Shoulder of Pork and Ham manufactured in Korea? Probably not. If I had a time machine I’d travel back to shake the hands of those wonderful, SPAM-creating men.

Ya Baby, It's Super Light.

Ya Baby, It's Super Light.

To accompany the SPAM sandwich(es) I ate while watch Clint Eastwood as Dirty Harry in Magnum Force, I drank a can cans of Kingway Super Light Beer. How could you not drink something called Super Light? Is it so light as to be good for you? Is it the Chinese beer equivalent of ambrosia?

Kingway is a Shenzhen, China, Brewery, and is fighting for market share with the Chinese beer dragon, Tsing Tao, the national brand.  Heineken International owns a 21% stake in Kingway. The company also produces a beer called Kingway Super Fresh. (aside: that would be a great hip-hop name: MC Super Fresh).

Sorry: Is it the Chinese beer equivalent of ambrosia?

In a word: No. But I am trying to eat healthy. Drinking regular non-super-light beer while eating sandwiches made with tinned meat containing dangerous levels of saturated fat and sodium would not have been especially healthy.

I’m giving serious consideration to translating Monty Python’s Spamalot into Chinese and starting a small theatre company to perform the show. I adapt the script to incorporate Kingway Super Light.

Posted in China, Cuisine, Humour, TravelComments (9)

Teaching and Living in China: More Random Thoughts


Teachers in China sometimes refer to Poo in terms of snakes

Teaching English in China can lead to some situations that drive you to the brink of insanity. That’s not to say I don’t like China, quite the opposite. But, there are times….

1. I can’t seem to get in a fast moving line, be it at a supermarket or passport control station. If in a line with one person in front of me, the line of ten next to me will speed along. I’m cursed, I tells ya.

2. The check-out lines in Chinese supermarkets labeled “Cash only” or “10 items of less” actually except forms of payment other than cash and many more items than 10.

3. When searching for a gym in China try to find one with a non-smoking section.

4. Before boarding the Hong Kong bus to the mainland, my temperature was checked to ensure I wasn’t infected with swine flu. The Star Trek-like gun-thing would not give a reading when pointed at my forehead. The bus attendant looked perplexed and tried again and again. After four minutes I began to wonder if I was dead and had become a zombie. That’s not outside the realm of possibility.

5. Given my level of exhaustion, and after listening to the screams of small children for 18 consecutive weeks, I am seriously considering a DIY vasectomy.

6. While I am extremely buff at the moment, I think three hours of cardio will be needed each day to balance the amount of beer and I plan to consume. I don’t want Mrs. Stevo to return to a less-than-attractive Mr. Stevo.

7. My contract finishes (thank goodness) June 30. On July 1 I will fly to Shanghai for six days, another photography trade show (missing Mrs. Stevo’s return). Look for more photos of pretty Asian models.

Conversation of the Week:
Poo is a major source of conversation between foreign teachers in China. A former colleague referred to his leavings in terms of snakes. “Oh man, you should have seen that nest of vipers…” I present the following to you:

Teacher: I feel a diarrhea attack coming on. If that happens is it okay if I let my class go early?
Stevo: No.
Teacher: Really?
Stevo: You can’t send your class home because of your bowels.
Teacher: Why not?
Stevo: How would I explain that to the parents?
Teacher: Oh.

Posted in Teaching ESL, Teaching OverseasComments (10)

Friday on the court


ESL Teachers and a student take part in a basketball game as part of a school charity event in Shenzhen, China.

ESL Teachers and a student take part in a basketball game as part of a school charity event in Shenzhen, China.

When I worked for a newspaper I loved shooting high school sports. The weather this day didn’t agree with me. This image looked much better before the JPG conversion. And, I’m way out of practice.  Michael at Expatriate Games has a great description of basketball in China (the nation is crazy for it). I recommend reading it.

The two weeks of sunshine were a tease. I spent most of the weekend inside thanks to torrential downpours. June 1 signals the start of the Pacific typhoon season. A school day canceled because of a typhoon is always welcome. Five weeks and counting…

Posted in China, Featured, Photographs, Reflections, Shenzhen, Teaching ESL, Teaching Overseas, TravelComments (4)

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