A Chinese lantern

Chinese Lunar New Year is long gone. The lanterns (above) are packed away until the next firework-fueled blow out: Two weeks of the year that an entire nation stops.

When the next new year arrives I will be father.

A father.

A man approaching 40, a successful yet slightly unstable vagabond, an expat, a square peg in a round hole, will be a father.

The thought fills me with terror. Life is now real, each day flashing by in sickening Technicolor dread. Not that life wasn’t real before – but your existence takes on a Disney-quality when someone else pays all the bills.

You should be happy, Stevo, says the inner voice. A baby! You like babies. You love children. You are child, in a middle-aged body – this will be only job you will ever really be good at.

Why is inner voice so optimistic?

I’ve never run from responsibility – that has been my lot in life. Making decisions regarding the design of a wireless flash trigger and raising a child are worlds apart. Can I do it? Will the jitters go away? Or, am I destine to be a nervous wreck until  Baby Stevo graduates university?

Don’t worry, everything will be fine. This is China, everything is always fine, you’ve learned that, worry wort, whispers the inner voice. The glass isn’t half full, it is full.

Half-empty then half-full – terror and joy holding hands with freakish regularity. That’s me, the lantern, blowing in the wind, between two extremes.

Seven weeks. That’s all. Seven weeks to stop being all dramatic, to put up and shut up, to be the man I should be – the man – the father – I want to be.

A bright and frightening future awaits.

While it has been dreadfully chilly, the afternoon sun from my “sniper’s” nest at Momo Bar has provided some wonderful light. Two days of sun? I can’t believe it. Last week it was hot – shorts-weather. This week? I’m wearing a toque and long-johns. There’s no insulation in south China homes – plain old cement walls. If it’s 40 degrees outside, it’s 40 degrees inside. Often, it’s warming outside than it is inside. I think the Chinese weather has developed bi-polar disorder and needs medication and therapy.

It was wet too weeks ago, I don’t mean rain or assorted precipitation, I mean wet.  Like every tile surface was covered in water. I don’t know the physics behind the phenomenon. My Chinese friends believe it is water in the air. My belief is that warm weather after ten days of temps just above freezing, caused condensation to form everywhere. Please, correct me if I’m wrong.

I witnessed the downside of the freakish wetness in my second apartment. I hadn’t been there for three weeks. I noticed as I prepared to sleep Monday night that the sheets smelled decidedly funky. Upon closer inspection I find lovely black mold spots on my pillows and a strange connect-the-dots pattern on a sheet. Lovely. I went home the next day, linens in hand, ready for the washing machine and Mr. Sun.

Chinese Lunar New Year is also called Spring Festival. It should be called Almost Spring Festival. I spoke with a Canadian in Shanghai earlier this week – he opined that Canada was warmer than China. That’s not enough to draw me back but is certainly food for thought.

I’m off to Hong Kong tomorrow to a Strobist shoot with some local photographers and 3 models. The public wharf in Kennedy Town, Hong Kong Island is our location. Photos of Asian models to follow.

The Chinese Lantern Festival will be celebrated February 28, bringing Chinese Lunar New Year to an end. The 15-day long Spring Festival will draw to a close. No more closed businesses, and most importantly, no more fireworks. I have never lived in a war zone, but the constant deafening explosions of past two weeks have given me a fair indication of what an artillery strike would sound like. I think Expatriate Games would agree….

The Lantern Festival will see the first full moon of the new year – this year being the Chinese Year of the Tiger. Modern practices see families walking outside, children holding colorful paper lanterns, appreciating the moon. Glutinous Rice Balls called yuanxiao are the traditional festival food often eaten in soup called tangyuan.

The Lantern Festival has been celebrated for thousands of years. Why lanterns? What’s the deal? If I’ve learned anything in China it is there are many different explanations for everything.

One legend says the festival was a way to worship the Chinese god of heaven, Taiyi. Beginning with the Qin Dynasty, emperors would hold elaborate celebrations to appease the god and ward off possible droughts, famine, disease, and possibly dragon attacks. The end of Spring Festival is also the birthday of the Taoist god of good fortune, Tianguan. It was believed that Tianguan liked entertainment. Since there were no strippers in the days of yor, lanterns were a way of giving the dude what he craved, and hopefully having him grant good fortune to lantern bearers.

There are other stories. Which one is true? That’s a matter of personal choice. I’m partial to the story of the Lantern Festival starting as a way of deceiving the Jade Emperor in Heaven. Some villagers inadvertently hunted and killed the Jade Emperor’s favorite bird. That’s a big no-no – don’t mess with a god’s avian friends. He was a little angry and decreed the village would be destroyed in a storm of fire.

Mr. Jade’s daughter over heard his plan and told the villagers. A village wiseman decided to hang red lanterns, start big bonfires, and toss around fireworks to make the village look like it was on fire. When the Jade Emperor’s soldiers arrived to launch their shock and awe attack they saw the village was already ablaze. They reported back to the emperor who probably said, “Good,” and went back to doing his other Jade Emperor duties.  The villagers celebrated not being burnt to a crisp with the lanterns and fireworks each year on the anniversary of their deception. In your face, Jade Emperor.

I’ll be in Hong Kong, a mecca for Indian tailors and African drug dealers,  for this year’s Lantern Festival. I’ll see what trouble I can get into and the possible photos that result.

The Year of the Tiger stamp from Canada Post

Chinese New Year is almost upon us: February 14, 2010 will see the arrival of the Year of the Tiger.

I have been listening to the warm-up fireworks for weeks. Businesses are closing, kids are out of school, and supermarkets are full of expensive wine, spirits, and other holiday related goodies.

For people from the west: Think of every holiday in the year, smush them all together into a few days of hard-core celebrations, and you have Chinese Lunar New Year, or Spring Festival as it is called here.

The Year of the Tiger

Based on the Chinese Zodiac my child will be a Tiger Year baby. The gem stone of Tigers is the diamond (ouch for me). Red and green are the colors associated with Tigers. Of course, Tigers don’t get along with Pigs (me) or Sheep (Mrs. Stevo).

The relationships between Chinese Zodiac animals is not something I really understand. I do know that being a Pig gives me a great excuse for not cleaning the kitchen. This excuse holds little water with Mrs. Stevo.

What of the character attributes of people born in the Year of the Tiger?

Tiger people are sensitive, given to deep thinking, capable of great sympathy. They can be extremely short-tempered, however. Other people have great respect for them, but sometimes tiger people come into conflict with older people or those in authority. sometimes Tiger people cannot make up their minds, which can result in a poor, hasty decision or a sound decision arrived at too late. They are suspicious of others, but they are courageous and powerful. Tigers are most compatible with Horses, Dragons, and Dogs

From: Chinese Culture Center of San Francisco

How will we celebrate? Traditionally, you go back to your home-town or village for Chinese Lunar New Year. Because Mrs. Stevo looks like she is carrying a watermelon in her tummy, there will be no train trip and village visit for us. Instead, we will spend Spring Festival Eve at a friend’s home engaged in two traditional activities: Dumpling-making and drinking baijiu (a strong spirit made from rice).

To all I say:  Xin Nian Kuai Le! Gong Hei Fat Choi! Happy Chinese New Year.

The remnants of firecrackers, in small Hunan, China village, on the first day of Chinese Lunar New Year. In China the new year is called  Spring Festival. 2009 is the Year of the Ox. Children born under the ox sign will be quiet, dependable, and achieve great things through hard work.

The rat, of the Chinese Zodiac

Happy Chinese New Year (almost)! Kung Hei Fat Choi!

or, Gongxi Facai! or, Xin Nian Kuai Le!

The Year of the Ox will begin January 26. Chinese people, and the Chinese diaspora will celebrate Lunar New Year, or Spring Festival, by returning home, eating lavish dinners, buying new clothes, and giving lucky money to children, parents, and unmarried friends.

Where does the Ox fit into this? What about the rest of the Chinese zodiac animals? As the Year of the Rat ends and the Year of the Ox begins do you wonder: Why is there a rat, a creature abhorred by most of civilization, in the Chinese zodiac? An ox? Hmmm…Let’s take a look.

Grab a cup of cocoa, put up your feet, and we’ll journey back to the days of yore. It started with a race, called by an immortal…

Once upon a time, the Jade Emperor (the Ruler of Heaven in the Taoist pantheon) held a race, calling all the animals to compete. The winners would be granted prestigious places in the Chinese zodiac. Many animals accepted the Emperor’s invitation, and as the racing commentators say, they were off!

The final obstacle in the race was a wide river. The ox, cat, and rat, the vanguard, arrived on the river bank. The cat and rat knew they couldn’t cross the river, they were the worst swimmers in the animal world.  They jumped on the back of the ox as he waded across. The ox, being a lovable lug (and somewhat naïve) agreed.

A traditional Chinese cat.

The cat and rat had a long-standing rivalry. The rat started to worry as they crossed the river on their bovine conveyance. He didn’t want to lose to his long time rival. In a fit of competitiveness, the rat pushed the cat off the ox, and into the river. The cat was swept away. (This explains two things: Why cats hate water, and why cats hate rats/mice. The cat never forgave the rat, and all cats still bear a grudge.)

The rat leapt off the ox as he struggled up the river bank, and finished the race. The Jade Emperor named him the first animal of the Chinese zodiac. The ox, a lovable lummox, finished second, and was granted second place in the zodiac.

Next, the tiger crossed the finish line. He apologized to the Jade Emperor. The current had been strong, and it was only his brute strength that allowed him to finish. Mr. Tiger was named the third animal.

A wet rabbit was fourth to cross the finish line. He thought he would win the race, he told the green God, but had fallen in the river while jumping from stone to stone. A piece of wood had saved him from drowning, and a gust of wind had brought him to shore.

Next: A Dragon. The Jade Emperor was mystified. How could a powerful flying creature finish fifth? He could fly across the river. The dragon explained that he had to stop along the way to make rain for a village in need. As he approached the finish line he spotted a rabbit in the river, clinging to a piece of wood. He helped the struggling rabbit to shore with his mighty breath. The Emperor was happy with the dragon’s benevolence, and he was named the fifth animal in the Chinese zodiac.

A horse arrived next, in a lather from his charging leap across the river. As he neared the finish line the snake, who had covertly hitched a ride on the horse’s leg, uncoiled. The horse, frightened by the serpent, reared and backed away. The snake crossed the finish line, the sixth animal. The horse, after recovering his wits, was the seventh animal to finish and be added to the zodiac.

A ram, a monkey and a rooster arrived at the far bank of the river. They couldn’t think of a way to get across. The rooster spotted a raft hidden along the river bank, and with the help of the monkey and the ram, cleared it of weeds and sailed across the river. The Jade Emperor was happy with the animals’ team work and named the ram the eighth animal, the monkey the ninth, and the rooster the tenth, in the zodiac cycle.

The dog of the Chinese Zodiac

Next came a wet dog (probably smelling like a typical wet dog, that odor being a constant since the beginning of time). He needed a bath, he explained to the Jade Emperor, and the river was the perfect opportunity to get clean. The clean canine was named the eleventh animal in the cycle.

The menagerie waited. And waited. And waited.

The Jade Emperor was about to call an end to the race and proceed with the eleven animals he had. The ensemble heard a shuffle and an oink. A pig crossed the finish line. He apologized. During the race he had become hungry and stopped to eat. After his meal he had fallen asleep.  Upon waking he finished the race. The pig was named the twelfth and last Chinese zodiac animal.

The cat, having struggled from the river after the rat’s skullduggery, finally arrived, too late to be included. He swore eternal revenge on the rat (and all rats) that had queered his chance to become part of the Chinese zodiac.

… and they lived happily ever after.

Of course, as with any myth, there is more than one story. The above tale is told with the Buddha substituted for the Jade Emperor. In an alternate version the Buddha called all the animals on his last day on earth, to say goodbye. Only twelve animals came, and he named a year after each of them.

In another version there is no race. The rat is given the task of inviting all the animasl to a banquet held by the Jade Emperor. The rat, given his long-standing feud with the cat, told the cat to arrive a day after the dinner. The cat, being tricked, swore revenge through the ages on rats.

Stories and fables: Behind every Chinese holiday is a fascinating myth to explain the festivities. Chinese Lunar New Year stories are no different those of Mid-Autumn Festival or the Dragon Boat Festival.

As you celebrate the arrival of the Year of the Ox keep in mind how the dim-witted creature, number two in the Chinese Zodiac, helped the Rat cross the finish line.

Happy Chinese New Year, almost. Kung Hei Fat Choi!

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