Conspiracies abound in this topsy-turvy world. You can think them silly or profound.
how far back can this conspiracy be traced?
Me? I believe there are things various governments and organizations don’t want us to know. Just as there are spin doctors and lobbyists, there are fixers and men-in-black to keep the general pubic docile and stupid.
The Kennedy assassinations, MLK, and the Apollo moon landings seem dubious. But, black helicopters, a Zionist Occupation Government, FEMA, and a number of other whack-job ideas don’t jell with my paranoid mind. I guess I’m a whack-job by degree.
There is one conspiracy that has remained hidden from public view that today I will expose to the world. This grand manipulation has kept us slaves for decades and drained our pocket books.
Who leads this sinister cabal? The Maytag repairman.
The appliance manufacturers, in coordination with the laundry soap merchants, aided by the dry cleaning industry, have suppressed the world’s most ingenious invention: Disposable clothing.
That’s right. Decades ago a team of scientists from MIT created a revolutionary, bio-degradable fabric. Disposable clothing was a reality. The scientists danced a jig when they realized what they had stumbled across while trying to improve napalm. No more washing machines. No more laundry soap. No more dry cleaning and lost claim checks. It was an advance of monumental proportions.
he’s smiling because he rules your life
It was too good to be true. A disposable business suit? Stained trousers that could be carelessly tossed away? No, “The Man” would have no part of that.
The Maytag repairman met with the now-grown baby from the Ivory Snow box. This disturbing couple sent their minions to fetch the disposable fabric. It is now hidden in a forgotten corner of Area 51, with alien artifacts, the lost Apollo moon landing videos, and Michael Jackson’s original nose.
Because of this duo we are still slaves to “the laundry.” I wash for two; the mountain of dirty garments at the end of the week is daunting. I know families with three, four, or (yikes!) even six members. The money spent on new washing machines and soap is immense. We think the world economy is based on oil, but in fact it is based on Tide.
I out this conspiracy, brothers and sisters, so we can rise up and take what is rightfully ours. Storm the Proctor and Gamble Bastille! Liberate your lives! I post a reward of $1200 to the brave soul that brings me the hat of the Maytag repairman.
End the slavery.
The choice is yours.
